Roly Rattles His Roller (Draft Copy)
David Fryer
p1) Big Roly was rolling some rubble one day,
but he took a wrong turn and rumbled away.
p2) That silly old roller chuffed way out of sight,
he rattled and rolled until day turned to night.
p3) He rumbled the houses, he rattled the beds,
he startled the gnomes as they played in their sheds.
p4/5) He scattered the tom cats, he stirred up the dogs,
and pampered pet mice scampered back to their logs.
Soon Roly the roller had woken the town
and everyone wished he would just settle down.
p6/7) But Roly was rocking and ready for thrills,
so he revved up his roller to flatten some hills.
Roly whistled and chuffed as he skittled speed bumps,
but he bristled and huffed on the skateboard jumps.
p8) Roly tripped and flipped like a cartwheeling kid,
then he broke all records for the world’s biggest skid!
p9) Roly crashed through fences, he crushed iron gates,
he dented steel dumpsters and smashed china plates.
p10/11) He tangled the washing, he mangled the toys,
he skidded on skates left by naughty young boys.
p12/13) He mashed monster melons, he shredded prize roses,
he splashed into frog ponds and chopped water hoses.
p14/15) But Roly slowed down as he ran out of chuff,
his pistons were pooped and his flue wouldn’t puff.
p16/17) Then Roly the roller rolled into a lake,
his soggy nose froze and he started to shake.
His big roller rattled as winter winds blew
and snowballs popped out from the top of his flue.
p18) Roly shivered chest-deep with guppies and eels,
they picked at his pinstripes and snapped at his wheels.
Roly wallowed and cried as he swallowed his pride,
but he opened too wide and swallowed a tide!
p19) Hey! Tobi the tow-truck twirls a nifty pinch-winch,
she can hurl 50-metres with her 40-inch winch.
The townies packed their flippers for the rescue run,
and Tobi clacked her nippers for a bit of fun.
p20/21) Tobi lassoed big Roly and raised him sky-high,
then she twirled him on fast until he spun dry.
Poor Roly was giddy and looking cross-eyed,
his push-rods were knotted, his bow was untied
p22/23) He was covered in mud, his face was a mess,
how Roly would rumble was anyone’s guess.
His roller was rusty, his boiler was crusty,
his gauges were dusty and his flue smelt musty.
p24) So they tightened his clangers, they plugged water leaks,
they retuned his rattles and squirted the squeaks.
p25) They used smelly wellies for floppy mudflaps,
and old jelly moulds made groovy hubcaps.
p26) They knitted a cosy, they rethatched his roof,
and a snazzy red nose made him look so aloof.
p27) They scrubbed him all over, they waxed his big ears,
they regreased his roller and buffed off the smears.
p28) They stocked up his scuttle with nuggets of coal,
then they topped up his tanks with pots on a pole.
p29) They twiddled his switches, they tickled his gauges,
Roly wriggled and giggled in stitches for ages.
p30) Then a flock of five ducks blew out of his flue
with smelly eel bubbles and stinky fish poo!
p31) Roly whooped his whistle, but what a whacky noise,
he had a cracker of a quacker to frighten girls and boys!
p32) Roly rocked and rolled as he chuffed back to town,
his gauges were up, but his GPS was down.
He turned left instead of right and disappeared from sight,
Big Roly the Roller could never get it right!
Footnote: Roly was born one roly-poly day in 1909. He weighs ten-tonnes and 99 kilos, but he can weigh more or less depending on how much water and coal he’s carrying. Roly’s top speed is 12 kph.
© David Fryer. Subject to whimsical change.
