Roly Rattles His Roller  (Draft Copy)

David Fryer

Roly Rattles His Roller, Cover (2)

p1)         Big Roly was rolling some rubble one day,
               but he took the wrong turn and rumbled away.

p2)         That silly old roller chuffed way out of sight,
               he rattled and rolled until day turned to night.

p3)         He rumbled the houses, he rattled the beds,
               he startled the gnomes as they played in their sheds.

p4/5)      He scattered the tom cats, he woke up the dogs,
and pampered pet mice scampered back to their logs.

               Soon Roly the roller had woken the town
               and everyone wished he would just settle down.

 p6/7)     But Roly was rocking and looking for thrills,
so he revved up his roller to flatten some hills.

               He steam rolled the bumps, then he ironed some humps,
               but Roly came a cropper on the skateboard jumps.

p9)         He flattened a cow shed, he wanted to scream,
               he blew his brass whistle but squirted whipped cream!

p10/11) Big Roly crushed fences, he trashed iron gates,
               he dented steel dumpsters and smashed china plates.

p12/13)  He tangled the washing, he mangled the toys,
               he skidded on skates left by naughty young boys.

p14/15)  He mashed monster melons, he shredded prize roses,
                he splashed into frog ponds and chopped water hoses.

p16/17)  But Roly slowed down as he ran out of chuff,
                his pushrods were pooped and his flue wouldn’t puff.

                Then the water rose up to make a deep lake
                and Roly’s nose froze as he started to shake.

p18)       His big roller rattled as winter winds blew
               and snowballed popped out from the top of his flue.

               He shivered chest-deep for a year and a day,
               poor Roly the roller was in a bad way.

p19)       He was covered in mud, his face was a mess,
               how Roly would rumble was anyone’s guess. 

p20/21)  But Toby the tow truck was out on his run,
               with a tangle of townies all looking for fun.

               So they hooked Roly out and raised him up high,
               then they twirled him so fast until he spun dry.

p22/23) Poor Roly was giddy and looking cross-eyed,
               his pushrods were knotted, his bow was untied.

               His roller was rusty, his boiler was crusty, 
               his gauges were dusty and his flue smelt musty.

p24)       They tightened his clangers, they plugged water leaks,
               they retuned his rattles and squirted the squeaks.

p25)       They used smelly wellies for floppy mudflaps,
               and old jelly moulds made groovy hubcaps. 

p26)       They knitted a cosy, they rethatched his roof,
               and a shiny new nose made him look so aloof.

p27)       They scrubbed him all over, they waxed his big ears,
               they regreased his roller and buffed off the smears.

p28)       They filled up his scuttle with nuggets of coal,
               then they topped up his tanks with pots on a pole.

p29)       They twiddled his levers, they dusted the gauges,
               they fiddled with switches for ages and ages.

p30)       Then a flock of five ducks flew out of his flue
               and eels squealed in their creels – “LOOK, ROLY’S LIKE NEW!”

p31)       Roly blew his whistle, but what a whacky noise,
               he had a cracker of a quacker to frighten naughty boys!
p32)       Roly rocked and rolled as he chuffed back to town,
               but he took the wrong turn again; what a silly clown.


Footnote: Roly was born one roly-poly day in 1909. He weighs ten-tonnes and 99 kilos, but he can weigh more or less depending on how much water and coal he’s carrying. Roly’s top speed is 12 kph.

© David Fryer.                       Subject to whimsical change.